I am sharing the YouTube video of my interview with Dr. Santira Streeter Corbitt with you here.
This conversation was centered on the premise of looking back on our experiences in order to inform and direct our future experiences. Moving towards the future requires just that, movement. Not staying comfortable and certainly, not staying stuck. And sometimes, not even moving in the same direction all of the time. An example of that came up for me as I reflected on the interview again the other day.
While watching this interview, I heard something that I have yet to say out loud. As Dr. Satira talked about the 4 Horsemen: The communication pitfalls that doom relationships, and I chimed in about “Fred, the 5th Horsemen of Resentment,” it dawned on me that my resentment has not been solely focused on my ex-husband. No, the resentment I hold most strongly is towards myself.
Emotional abuse notwithstanding, I have realized that my self-abandonment, dishonoring of my “No,” and over commitment to people pleasing set me and the marriage up for failure. Now, I am focused on learning healthy ways to show up unapologetically for myself first in order to show up for those I love. I am developing diverse ways to say “No” to people and situations that are not healthy for me. And yes, people pleasing is slowly but surely becoming a thing of the past.
As I continue this journey of accountability and critical self-reflection, I would love to hear from you about your healing journey. Feel free to email me directly at email@example.com and share your story. I am also looking forward to bringing you more conversations to usher in greater introspection for us all.
Saying “We’re in this together” is one thing. Actually holding each other accountable and cheering each other on for those every day wins AND setbacks is something else. Please know I am cheering for you no matter where you are in your journey!
Let’s keep on healing, thriving and working towards liberation!
It has been a while since I have conducted an interview for the podcast. I have been busy processing and working on my next book Emancipation Papers: A Truthtelling Journey Towards Awakening, Healing and Transformation. That said, I have now resumed my interviews and cannot WAIT to share episode 17 with you.
Here is a description of the episode:
In this episode, Dr. Kecia speaks with Licensed Psychologist, Dr. Satira Streeter Corbitt (“Dr. Satira”). Dr. Satira talks about her journey to supporting the love, genius and wellbeing of families through her practice, Ascensions Psychological Services, Inc. She also shares parenting tips and advice for couples, as well as shares excerpts from her first children’s book “Black Genius: A Journal of History and Affirmation.” Feel free to reach out to Dr. Satira at www.drsatira.com/ to learn more about ways she can support you and your family.
Take a listen and let me know any Ahas! Oh-oh’s! or Oh Wait’s! you had as you think about your relationships with your partner, family members and any children in your circle.
One Aha! Moment I had from this episode was when she talked about “The 4 Horsemen: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt, and Stonewalling. Dr. Satira called them “…the four things that they [couples] do in relationships that are the four biggest indicators of divorce.” It is these ways of communicating (or not communicating) our feelings to our partners AND the children in our lives that are highly detrimental to those relationships. As we talked, I began to realize that these forms of communicating live in our assumptions and expectations of others. Further, there is a connection to what Dr. Mohamed referenced in episode 12 as “…the story we tell ourselves about ourselves,” and the stories we tell ourselves about the other people in our lives, our expectations of them and their intentions towards us.
Big time Aha! Moment!
Speaking of relationships and expectations, Jay Sheatty has an interesting episode of his podcast On Purpose where he talks about 8 Unrealistic Expectations We Have in Relationships & 8 Ways to Replace Them for Success in Love. Jay and I had an argument about these expectations (albeit the argument was in my head…no matter). I will share those musings with you in a future post. in the meantime, take a listen to episode 17 of More Than Metaphors and leave me any comments or questions that come up for you!
Looking forward to continuing this journey towards love, justice and liberation with you!
The inspirations for this piece were my daughter Makaila, the graduate students completing their Action Research requirement at the University of San Diego (especially the 1st year students I have been blessed to engage this semester), and all of our next generation leaders.
A special Thank You to Dr. Nydia Sanchez and Jessica López for the encouragement to do what I do!
Feel free to share this poem with any graduate or person who is moving to the next level in their lives. Also, feel free to reframe the poem into the first person and use it as an affirmation for yourself!
The Future Is Waiting For You
Our world is calling you now to lead at a time when innovation must lock arms with compassion.
Call and response: The future is waiting for you.
When we have called for change Your brilliance, power and hope have responded unapologetically “We are here.”
Call and response: The future is waiting for you.
Your Ancestors stand proud as you represent a mosaic of possibilities and our community stands together as we see a loss of learning and the violent taking of lives. In the midst of it all, you have steadied your hearts with courage, power and purpose and have confidently continued your stride towards excelencia.
Call and response: The future is waiting for you (read 2 times).
The Future. Is waiting. For You.
May you all continue to thrive and keep moving towards liberation!